If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, you’ve probably been given plenty of advice.
“Just relax.”
“Try not to think about it.”
“Calm down.”
If only it were that simple.
Anxiety isn’t a choice. Most people don’t wake up in the morning and decide they’d like to spend the day worrying, overthinking, or imagining everything that could go wrong.
Yet that’s exactly what anxiety often feels like.
The frustrating part is that many people know their fears aren’t logical, but that knowledge alone doesn’t stop the anxious feelings.
Why?
Because anxiety doesn’t usually begin with logic.
It begins with patterns.
Over time, your subconscious mind learns certain ways of responding to situations.
Maybe it learned that the world isn’t completely safe.
Maybe it learned that mistakes have serious consequences.
Maybe it learned that other people’s approval determines your worth.
Those beliefs often develop years before we’re old enough to question them.
Eventually, they can become automatic.
This is something I explore in How Human Programming Develops: The Hidden Influence of the Subconscious Mind. Experiences and conclusions from childhood can sometimes continue influencing our emotional responses long after the original circumstances have changed.
A situation happens.
A thought appears.
Your body reacts.
Your heart races.
Your breathing changes.
Your muscles tighten.
Before long, your brain begins searching for a reason to explain why your body suddenly feels anxious.
The cycle continues.
This is why simply telling yourself to “stop worrying” rarely works.
You’re trying to reason with a subconscious pattern that’s been running for years.
Your subconscious mind isn’t necessarily trying to make your life difficult. In many cases, it’s trying to protect you based on information and experiences it learned in the past.
In The Purpose of the Subconscious Mind, I explain how the subconscious mind stores patterns, emotional responses, beliefs, and behaviors that can become increasingly automatic over time.
A response that once helped you feel safe may continue operating even when it’s no longer necessary.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
It means your mind has learned a pattern.
And learned patterns can change.
Pay attention to what happens when you begin feeling anxious.
What are you saying to yourself?
“What if something goes wrong?”
“What if I embarrass myself?”
“What if they don’t like me?”
“What if I can’t handle this?”
An anxious feeling can trigger anxious thoughts, and anxious thoughts can reinforce the emotional response.
That’s why becoming aware of your internal dialogue can be so valuable.
In Your Mind Is Always Listening, I discuss how the words and labels we repeatedly use can influence subconscious beliefs and the way we perceive ourselves.
I explore this relationship even further in How Hypnotherapy and NLP Coaching Can Change Your Internal Dialogue. Becoming aware of what you’re saying to yourself can be an important step toward recognizing the patterns contributing to anxiety.
Anxiety is real.
But sometimes anxiety is the symptom rather than the underlying issue.
Perhaps underneath the anxiety is:
Fear of rejection.
Fear of failure.
Fear of disappointing someone.
A belief that you aren’t good enough.
A need to be perfect.
Or an experience from the past that taught your subconscious mind to remain on alert.
This is similar to what I discuss in Sometimes the Pain Isn’t the Problem. What we experience on the surface isn’t always where the pattern began.
Instead of only asking:
“How do I stop feeling anxious?”
It can sometimes be useful to ask:
“What might be underneath this anxiety?”
That’s where deeper work can begin.
This is where hypnotherapy Los Angeles can be helpful.
Hypnotherapy allows you to work with subconscious patterns that may be contributing to automatic emotional responses.
Instead of only fighting anxiety at the surface, hypnotherapy can help you explore the beliefs, associations, and learned responses that may be helping maintain it.
You may consciously know:
“I’m safe.”
“I’m capable.”
“One mistake isn’t the end of the world.”
Yet another part of you may still respond as though danger is present.
Hypnotherapy provides an opportunity to work with that deeper level of thinking.
NLP Coaching can also help you recognize thoughts, beliefs, language, and mental habits that may contribute to anxiety.
For example, consider the difference between:
“I always panic when I have to speak in front of people.”
And:
“I’ve experienced anxiety while speaking in front of people, but I’m learning to become more comfortable.”
The first statement turns anxiety into part of your identity.
The second acknowledges the experience while leaving room for change.
This isn’t about pretending anxiety doesn’t exist.
It’s about recognizing that the language you use can influence how you interpret your experiences.
That’s also why How The Words You Use Frame Your Life is so relevant. Small changes in language can sometimes create very different ways of viewing ourselves and our circumstances.
Sometimes anxiety is connected to deeper limiting beliefs such as:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not safe.”
“I can’t trust myself.”
“I have to make everyone happy.”
“I can’t make mistakes.”
These beliefs may have been formed years ago, but they can continue influencing behavior today.
In Rewire Limiting Beliefs With NLP Coaching and Hypnotherapy, I explore how identifying these beliefs can help us question whether they still belong in our lives.
People often assume anxiety is something they simply have to live with forever.
But emotional patterns aren’t necessarily fixed.
When we understand what’s maintaining a pattern, we can begin working toward changing our response.
The goal isn’t to eliminate every stressful moment in life.
Stress is part of being human.
There will still be difficult conversations.
Deadlines.
Unexpected problems.
Uncertainty.
Challenges.
The goal is to develop healthier ways of responding to those situations rather than automatically treating ordinary stressors as emergencies.
Sometimes we spend enormous amounts of energy fighting ourselves without realizing what’s creating the resistance. In What’s Slowing You Down? The Invisible Running Parachute, I discuss how old fears, beliefs, and emotional patterns can quietly make moving forward more difficult.
When those patterns begin to change, life can begin to feel different.
Not necessarily because the world changed.
But because your response to it did.
If anxiety, overthinking, fear, or worry has been affecting your confidence, relationships, career, or quality of life, it may be worth becoming curious about what’s happening beneath the surface.
Through hypnotherapy, hypnosis, and NLP Coaching, we can explore subconscious beliefs and emotional patterns that may be contributing to the way you respond to stressful situations.
Sometimes meaningful change doesn’t begin by asking:
“How do I force myself to stop being anxious?”
It begins by asking:
“What has my mind learned—and is that pattern still helping me today?”
Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., is the Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles. As a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner and Coach, she helps clients overcome anxiety, limiting beliefs, low self-esteem, self-sabotage, and other subconscious barriers to success through hypnotherapy, hypnosis, NLP Coaching, and Time Line Therapy®.
