A few months ago, I was having pain in my hip flexor.
Every time I walked, exercised, or got up from a chair, that’s where I felt it.
Naturally, I assumed my hip flexor was the problem.
After all, that’s where it hurt.
When I went to my physical therapist, she examined me and then explained something that completely changed the way I looked at my pain.
She told me my hip flexor wasn’t actually the problem.
The real issue was that my hamstrings, quadriceps, and piriformis muscles had become so tight that they were pulling everything out of balance. My hip flexor was simply the place where I felt the pain.
As we worked on those other muscles, something interesting happened.
My hip flexor started feeling better.
That experience reminded me so much of the work I do every day as a hypnotherapist.
Because emotional pain often works in a similar way.
Someone comes to me because they’re anxious.
Or overwhelmed.
Or stuck.
Or lacking confidence.
They assume that’s the problem because that’s what they’re experiencing.
But very often, those feelings are symptoms.
The real issue may be something much deeper.
Anxiety may actually be rooted in a fear of failure.
Or a fear of rejection.
Or a childhood experience that taught someone the world wasn’t safe.
Perfectionism may not really be about wanting everything to be perfect.
It may be driven by a belief that mistakes aren’t acceptable—or that your worth depends on getting everything right.
People-pleasing may look like kindness on the surface.
But underneath, it may be a fear of disappointing others, being criticized, or not feeling good enough.
Even procrastination often isn’t about laziness.
It’s frequently about fear.
Fear of failing.
Fear of succeeding.
Fear of being judged.
These deeper beliefs can begin much earlier than we realize. In How Human Programming Develops: The Hidden Influence of the Subconscious Mind, I explain how conclusions formed during childhood can continue influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors well into adulthood.
If we only focus on the symptom, we may experience temporary relief.
But unless we address what’s underneath, the symptom may return—sometimes in a different form.
One of the most important things I’ve learned over the years is this:
Your subconscious mind isn’t trying to make your life difficult.
It’s trying to protect you.
The challenge is that it’s often using information that may have been true years ago but isn’t true anymore.
Perhaps speaking up wasn’t safe when you were a child.
Perhaps making a mistake led to criticism.
Perhaps asking for help was met with disappointment.
Your subconscious learned from those experiences and created strategies to protect you.
The problem is that those same strategies can continue long after they’re needed.
As adults, they may hold us back instead of keeping us safe.
I explore this protective role more deeply in The Purpose of the Subconscious Mind and why patterns that once helped us cope can eventually become barriers to confidence, happiness, and personal growth.
This is one of the reasons I love the work we can do through hypnotherapy Los Angeles and NLP Los Angeles.
Rather than simply helping people manage symptoms, we become curious about what’s creating them.
We look beneath the surface.
Sometimes the answer comes quickly.
Sometimes it’s something the person hasn’t thought about in years.
Sometimes it’s a belief they didn’t even realize they were carrying.
These hidden beliefs can influence behavior for years without conscious awareness. In Rewire Limiting Beliefs With NLP Coaching and Hypnotherapy, I explore how identifying these beliefs can create an opportunity to replace old restrictions with healthier, more supportive patterns.
Once we understand the true source of the problem, meaningful change becomes much easier.
It’s very similar to what my physical therapist did.
She didn’t spend all her time treating the place that hurt.
She found what was causing the pain.
The next time you’re struggling emotionally, try asking yourself a different question.
Instead of asking:
“Why am I anxious?”
Ask:
“What might my anxiety be trying to tell me?”
Instead of:
“Why do I keep procrastinating?”
Ask:
“What am I afraid might happen if I actually succeed?”
Sometimes the answer isn’t obvious.
That’s okay.
Curiosity is often where meaningful change begins.
The way we frame these questions matters, too. In How The Words You Use Frame Your Life, I discuss how changing our language can change the way we interpret an experience and respond to it emotionally.
The conversations we have with ourselves can also reinforce old emotional patterns without us realizing it. How Hypnotherapy and NLP Coaching Reveal the Hidden Power of Self-Talk explores how becoming aware of that internal dialogue can help us create more supportive ways of thinking.
My hip flexor wasn’t lying to me.
It really did hurt.
It just wasn’t telling the whole story.
The same is often true of emotional pain.
The anxiety…
The anger…
The self-doubt…
The fear…
They’re all real.
But sometimes they’re pointing toward something deeper that’s asking to be understood.
Because sometimes…
The problem isn’t the problem.
If you’ve been struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, stress, procrastination, or emotional patterns that don’t seem to make sense, perhaps it’s time to look beneath the surface.
Hypnotherapy, hypnosis, and NLP Coaching can help uncover the beliefs and emotional experiences that may be driving those patterns so meaningful, lasting change becomes possible.
If you’d like to explore what’s beneath the patterns you’re experiencing, I invite you to reach out for a complimentary 30-minute phone consultation.
Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., is the Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles. As a Certified Hypnotherapist, NLP Master Practitioner and Coach, and Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, she helps clients uncover the root causes of anxiety, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs through hypnotherapy, hypnosis, and NLP Coaching. She works with clients throughout Los Angeles and online to create meaningful, lasting change.
