I’ve had many people visit me in my private Hypnotherapy and NLP Coaching practice for issues related to infidelity in relationships. Most of the time, it is about my client feeling intensely angry and hurt with a partner for past indiscretions and finding themselves unable to forgive… even though they can consciously see their partner has turned over a new leaf. 

They are simply stuck in this feeling of deep unhappiness, feeling trapped where they are… unable to forgive and live harmoniously with their partner and… unable to walk away from the relationship. I’ve seen people so hurt that they just want to inflict endless emotional pain on their partner, which will ultimately, most likely, drive the other person away… but they don’t really want to drive them away. They want it to be how it used to be before the betrayal.

You can see how many complex emotions and thoughts are involved in situations like this.

In my hypnosis work with clients experiencing this dilemma, we start by understanding the scenario fully. When did the anger and resentments really begin? Maybe it was way before any infidelity actually occurred. Perhaps my client may start to see how he or she played a role in how the events unfolded and even accept some degree of responsibility for the breakdown in communication and trust in the relationship. 

We may start to release their anger and resentments, along with other negative emotions, from their lifetime so the relationship issue is not clouded by other life events. In doing so, they might recognize the deep love they feel for their partner and the willingness to give that person a second chance.

We work on acceptance of “what is” … that they cannot turn back time and “unsee” events or have their partner make a choice different from the one they made at the time. 

I guide my clients in identifying their personal strength and empowerment and recognizing that they will make a conscious “choice” … because it is their choice… to choose their partner freely… or not. They are not trapped.

If they choose their partner, it is vital for my client to understand and accept that if they ever have reason to believe infidelity has returned, they are strong enough to make decisions at that time and handle the situation. My client might even clearly see themselves calmly walking away from the relationship and saying goodbye IF and WHEN they ever needed to do so.

With the new and authentic feelings of forgiveness, love, and empowerment, that old, broken relationship can become a dim and distant memory… and a new, strong relationship with mutual respect, shared trust and shared deep love can emerge. This begins their new future together.

If any of what I have said here resonates with you, please always feel free to reach out to me if you want to know more. 

Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles, is a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master NLP Practitioner and Coach.