I think it is safe to say that all humans will figure out ways to cope with stress. 

Unfortunately, many of these coping mechanisms will be destructive. Some obvious examples include alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. I’m also talking about activities like overeating, nail-biting, and hair-pulling… to name only a few. The list can be endless.

Instead of being kind to ourselves with stress-reducing activities like consistent exercise, meditation, having a massage, taking long walks for introspection, reading, writing, and artistic creation… too many of us destroy our bodies and minds with substances and chaotic lifestyles.

What makes the difference between someone who focuses on self-care when experiencing stress and someone whose lifestyle leads to self-destruction?

The difference is simply found in being able to access self-love and self-respect. Without these things, it is really difficult to focus on self-care.

Since 95% of our thoughts are directed by our subconscious minds, we must have a subconscious program that includes self-love in order to create and sustain positive coping mechanisms.

Your conscious mind, or 5% of your total mind power, may be very focused on going to the gym or throwing away your pack of cigarettes… and sheer willpower can enable you to have what you consciously want… but only for a while.

You see, willpower lives in the conscious realm… and can get you to focus on positive behaviors now, but sooner or later, that subconscious program will take over again and begin that destructive cycle anew.

This is where Hypnotherapy and NLP Coaching enter into the picture to guide you in releasing that destructive subconscious program and creating that positive one in its place. This results in changed thinking and patterns of behavior.

So… how does one release destructive programs? It’s about getting to the root cause of why you would subconsciously want to hurt yourself. This can be extremely complex and can stem from interpretations of childhood experiences that make you feel unworthy of love. 

Once you can identify and reconcile those thoughts and experiences, that pain will disappear and whatever it was will become a dim and distant memory. This gives you the freedom to choose your life and develop productive behaviors that bring you happiness today. Those new productive behaviors will be reinforced in hypnosis to make them even stronger. 

Sometimes a person’s pain is so great that escaping into some bad habit becomes automatic to alleviate the pain. However, once that drug used to escape wears off or the cigarette is finished, you are back there again with yourself and that pain.

If you are ready to end this destructive cycle of behavior or if there’s something that you need to reconcile in your life to find inner peace, always feel free to reach out.

Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles, is a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master NLP Practitioner and Coach.