I once had a new client walk into my office and say, “What do you know about weight loss? You’re skinny and can’t possibly relate to someone like me.” I had to laugh at the irony and responded, “Wouldn’t you rather have a coach who walks the walk and talks the talk to show you that at the end of the line, you’ll have what you came here for?” My client went on to achieve her goal weight.
Here’s the thing: whether you’ve struggled with weight for years or simply noticed those extra pounds sneaking up, we all have a relationship with food shaped by our past experiences. Even people who seem to have fast metabolisms aren’t immune to gaining weight. Just look at the infamous “Freshman 15,” when college students discover that ice cream can be breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And the truth is, what we eat is often more about what’s going on in our heads than what’s on our plates.
I’m someone who was lucky to have a fast metabolism and a mother who never made food an issue. Growing up, food was neither a punishment nor a reward. When we turned up our noses at whatever she made for dinner, my Brooklyn-born mother would simply say, “Nischt Gefilte Fish.”
That’s a Yiddish expression which literally means, “No Gefilte Fish” but figuratively means, “Take it or leave it… eat this or don’t eat tonight.” This no-nonsense approach meant none of us grew up as picky eaters, and there was never any emotional attachment to food.
But that doesn’t mean I was exempt from the emotional eating trap. I’ll never forget my first heartbreak at 15, when Gary Schwartz didn’t call me back. I did what any devastated teenager would do: I reached for the chips and cookies, hoping to eat my sadness away. My mother walked in, took one look at me, and asked, “What are you doing?” I wailed, “I’m eating because Gary doesn’t like me!” Her response was classic: “So, do you think he’s going to like you when you’re FAT?”
In that moment, she delivered what I now recognize as a bit of NLP coaching. Pure logic cut through my emotional fog. Her bluntness stopped me in my tracks and made me realize that eating my feelings wouldn’t fix a thing. It was an early lesson in understanding the emotional triggers behind our eating habits—a lesson I carry with me to this day.
This story illustrates a fundamental principle I use in my practice: uncovering the subconscious beliefs that drive our behaviors. Often, food becomes a stand-in for comfort, control, or even a reward. When we’re upset, lonely, or bored, it’s easy to reach for something sweet or salty as a quick fix. But what if we could interrupt that automatic response? What if we could change the way we react to these triggers?
That’s where Hypnotherapy and NLP Coaching come in. Hypnosis helps us access the subconscious mind, where deep-seated beliefs about food, body image, and self-worth are stored. By guiding clients into a relaxed, focused state, we can uncover the root causes of their relationship with food—often revealing emotional attachments they weren’t even aware existed. It’s not about willpower; it’s about rewiring those automatic responses.
Similarly, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques are used to challenge and reframe these ingrained beliefs. Take, for example, the classic case of emotional eating after a breakup. Instead of turning to food, NLP can help you reframe the situation: What are you really seeking in that moment? Comfort, validation, distraction? Once you identify the real need, you can choose a healthier way to meet it.
By surfacing the subconscious drives behind counterproductive behaviors, we empower clients to release and change them. It’s not about depriving yourself or battling cravings. It’s about understanding why those cravings exist in the first place and transforming that understanding into lasting change.
Bottom line: When we address the emotional and psychological roots of our eating habits, weight loss becomes a natural byproduct of a healthier relationship with food—and with ourselves. And that’s the ultimate goal: not just to lose weight, but to gain a sense of control, confidence, and self-compassion that lasts a lifetime.
Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht. is Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy. She is a Certified Hypnotherapist, Master NLP Coach and Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner in the Los Angeles area.
