Why is it so difficult for people to love themselves and so easy for them to be hyper-critical of themselves? It’s such a common theme of being Human. I’m not talking about narcissistic or selfish love… I’m talking about a healthy love that leads to self-care, self-respect and self-worth. 

When I first started to do this NLP Coaching work decades ago as a participant of a program, someone said to me… “Can I ask you a question?” I said… “Of course.” That person then asked, “Do you love yourself?”  And it caught me so off guard that I just started sobbing… because it was then that I realized that the answer was a resounding, “NO.” 

As a hypnotherapist now, I realize that finding self-love may be one of the more difficult quests in life.

It’s very hard to avoid comparing ourselves to other people and from the eyes of a child growing up, we tend to delete, distort and generalize information about the world. Everybody is thinner or smarter than me… every girl is prettier than me. Everyone has a boyfriend except for me. Everyone’s parents have stayed together except for mine. It goes on and on. 

Somehow, we develop beliefs about ourselves that are simply distorted… but to us, it’s real. It becomes our reality. Then we decide we are not worthy of love because there is something terribly wrong with us. It’s silly really… but it happens… more often than not. 

I work with clients and I sometimes ask them… “If a stray puppy walked into this room and just sat on the floor… would you love it? In imagining an adorable, innocent puppy, people respond with, “Of course! Who doesn’t love a puppy?” 

And I say, “but he didn’t do anything special. He just walked in and sat there.” 

The response I get is usually something like… “But he doesn’t have to DO anything…  He’s just so innocent and so full of love.”  

Of course… that’s my opportunity to say, “Is he any more special than you?” That usually stops people in their tracks. 

And I ask that person to imagine themselves as a newborn baby… “Does that baby deserve love? Does the baby need to do anything or prove anything so that you know that the baby deserves love?” This is the beginning of the journey of finding self-love and self-acceptance.

Trust in the fact that we can all find self-love. And when you do… your world will change, I promise you. Reach out now for a complimentary 30-minute phone consultation if you want to know more about how Hypnosis and NLP Coaching techniques will get you there. 

Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles, is a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master NLP Practitioner and Coach.