Grief is a profound and deeply personal experience that affects individuals in diverse ways. Coping with the death of a loved one is a challenging journey that is influenced by various factors, including age, life experiences, emotional development, and cultural background. Each person’s grief is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with loss.

My own encounter with grief began at the tender age of 17 when my mother passed away. The pain was overwhelming, so I just pushed it down… deeper and deeper… until I didn’t feel it anymore. I thought I was “over it”… However, little did I know that grief doesn’t simply vanish; it lies dormant, waiting for an opportunity to resurface.

As the years passed, I found myself feeling lost and restless, seeking something elusive but not comprehending what it was. Certain life events, such as my wedding, my first pregnancy, and the birth of our first child, triggered intense feelings of sadness and loneliness. At the time, I couldn’t grasp the underlying reason for these emotions.

In reality, my grief was an ever-present companion, subtly influencing my emotions and reactions to various life situations. I yearned for a way to escape the pain, not realizing that the source of my sorrow was buried deep within my subconscious mind.

It wasn’t until much later, at the age of 38, that I stumbled upon Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) coaching. Engaging in this transformative work allowed me to confront and process my unexpressed grief fully. In an unexpected torrent of emotions, I cried for three days over my mother’s death. The release was cathartic, and I finally understood that I had been carrying unprocessed grief for over two decades.

This realization was a revelation. Had you asked me prior to that moment, I would have told you that I had dealt with my mother’s death long ago. However, the truth was far from what I believed. It became evident that grief is not something that can be measured within a specific timeline.

My experience as an NLP coach has provided me with a unique perspective on grief and its complexity. As I work with clients, I am keenly aware that the emotions they express may only scratch the surface of what lies beneath. Many individuals, even when they claim to have moved on, carry unresolved grief that continues to impact their lives in subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle ways.

For some, grief might present itself as feelings of sadness and loneliness during significant life events, as I had experienced. Others might notice unexplained irritability, difficulty concentrating, or changes in sleep patterns. The manifestations of grief are as varied as the individuals experiencing them.

As an empathetic NLP coach and experienced hypnotherapist, I understand the importance of creating a safe and nurturing space for clients to explore their emotions openly. By encouraging them to delve into their feelings and memories, I help them uncover the layers of unexpressed grief that may be hindering their personal growth and happiness.

Grief is a natural response to loss, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is a deeply individual process, and its timeline is unique to each person. Some individuals may find solace in sharing their feelings with loved ones or seeking support through counseling or support groups. Others may go inward and find comfort in creative outlets like writing, painting, or music.

Ultimately, acknowledging and expressing grief is essential for healing and moving forward. By allowing ourselves to experience and process our emotions, we can gradually find peace and acceptance, while cherishing the memories of our loved ones in our hearts.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, remember that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reaching out for help can provide comfort and guidance during difficult times. Together, we can navigate the complex terrain of grief, finding healing and a renewed sense of hope in life’s journey.

Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles, is a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master NLP Practitioner and Coach.