Do you ever wonder why people get upset? The last time you got upset, what was happening? I can guarantee you that some expectation you had was NOT met. 

Here’s something I’ve heard from a client in my office that is very typical:

“I’m so upset because my husband never remembers our anniversary.” 

“Well… has he EVER remembered your anniversary?”

“NEVER!”

“Then why would you expect him to start now?” 

As an objective observer now… Tell me.. Who has the real problem???

OF COURSE! … It’s the person with unrealistic expectations WHO has the problem. Her husband is just being her husband and she is expecting him to be someone else. No matter how many upsets she had over the years over this event, she is STILL expecting him to be someone who remembers dates like anniversaries.

In our first hypnotherapy and NLP coaching session together, she acknowledged wholeheartedly that her husband deeply loved her. She was aware of this on a conscious level. In fact, she pointed out lots of different events and circumstances where he had gone above and beyond to please her and make her happy and feel loved. Yet… she was stuck on this disempowering belief “If he doesn’t remember our anniversary, he doesn’t love me.” It was becoming a big problem in their marriage.

Through our work, she realized that this belief was just something she made up when she observed her parents celebrating their anniversaries. She made it a “rule” in her subconscious mind that this is what married people MUST DO! 

However, almost immediately after surfacing that belief, she got this incredible breakthrough that her parents divorced when she was still in grade school, while she had been in a happy marriage for over 20 years!!!! That was a real AH-HA moment!

Her old disempowering belief just disappeared in that moment and she began to cry tears of relief. She had released that huge burden that she had been carrying with her and could now see IT WAS JUST UTTER NONSENSE THAT SHE HAD MADE UP HERSELF!!

She no longer expected her husband to remember their anniversary. Instead… She reminded him about the date so that he would pick up a card for her and SHE would plan a special evening. It was still important to her, but she no longer EXPECTED her husband to remember. She was never upset about that again because she level-set her expectations. 

The bottom line is IF YOU FULLY ACCEPT THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE… BUT KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS EMPOWERED TO ADJUST  YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE, YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF EXPERIENCING FEWER AND FEWER UPSETS IN LIFE.  

If you’ve been upset about something and are NOW ready to release it, reach out to me for a complimentary phone consultation. You would be shocked at how easy it is to feel better immediately through hypnosis and NLP Coaching techniques!

Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles, is a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master NLP Practitioner and Coach.