Studies tell us that subconscious programming is developing between the ages of birth and 7 years old. This means that a two-year-old is creating an understanding about life that sticks with them through adulthood!

I know it sounds crazy, but Human Beings typically never release existing beliefs as we go through life. We, instead, continue to build onto the beliefs that are already there because the human mind will seek to validate existing beliefs. We will delete, distort and generalize the information we take in from the world to be aligned with our “reality” of life.

Through hypnotherapy and NLP coaching techniques, I guide my clients in releasing the ridiculous beliefs that were created in childhood and still run them today. 

If you have released your own negative emotions and limiting beliefs of life through doing this breakthrough work, you are in a MUCH better position to notice when your children (or grandchildren) are about to create some negative thoughts… and you can guide them in changing that to the positive. 

Here are some real examples of how kids “make sense” in their own little world with no real information… and how it is possible to redirect their thoughts to have a more positive outlook on life’s events. These are situations that occurred recently with my own grandchildren: 

We went away for a weekend with our son’s family recently. At the hotel, we were sitting with the grandkids on a rock near a koi pond. I only heard the tail-end of a conversation between my son and 3-year-old-granddaughter, but she was visibly VERY upset about something. 

When I approached her and asked her what was going on, she said through tears, “Daddy said I can’t go close to the pond and put my hands in. I’m mad at daddy!”

I asked her, “Why do you think Daddy said that?”

She responded so logically, “Daddy said he was afraid I would fall in.”

I continued, “Why do you think Daddy doesn’t want you to fall in?”

“Because he cares about me?”… She answered as though she was asking a question.  With that realization, I could see something shifted in her understanding of what was happening and she ran to Daddy and gave him a big hug. I was absolutely shocked that a 3-year old could arrive at the answer herself when guided. 

It was clear to me that breakthroughs occur in both children and adults in the exact same way… In a split second the upset disappears as a new understanding sets in. 

In this example, this particular upset was resolved, but, of course… we cannot be inside a child’s mind every waking second, so we know that misconstrued information will always be accumulating. It’s just a fact of life. However, if we are there to explain “real-life” to a child, we have saved them from at least one triggering event.

As another example… Last week, my son and daughter-in-law spent a night away and we babysat. My 1-year-old granddaughter woke up from a nap and she was sobbing inconsolably… She was so upset that she was hyperventilating. I tried everything to calm her down and nothing worked. 

Then, I thought, “If I were her, what would I be thinking as I woke up from my nap?” I wondered whether she was missing her parents. 

So I asked her… “Are you missing Mommy and Daddy?” She stopped crying for a minute and nodded her head… “mmmm.” I explained that she was going to see Mommy and Daddy tomorrow. Then I asked would she like to play outside now? And she nodded her head and said “mmmm.” So, we went and played outside and she was fine!

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Small children understand everything. They cannot express and don’t have much spoken language when they are very young, but they process and understand. They process through a child’s mind with a child’s information of the world, so it is so important to do a lot of explaining to help them to express and feel heard. Just like adults, once they can identify and express their source of upset, it disappears.

We do the best we can as we raise children and we cannot go back and have a “do-over”, as much as we wish we could! So, thankfully, I have a second chance at this with my grandchildren!:)

If you are seeking to become a better parent (or grandparent)… just reach out for a complimentary phone consultation!

Jayne Goldman, MBA, C.Ht., Founder and Principal of Best Life Hypnotherapy in Los Angeles, is a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Master NLP Practitioner and Coach.